Learning to Love Again: Dating After a Difficult Break-Up

breakupDating after a difficult break-up can be hard work. Emotional baggage has a way of weighing you down, and the prospect of dating again may seem like more than your battered heart can bear. If you’re considering reentering the online dating world after a bad split with a previous partner, these simple tips may help.

#1 – Allow Yourself Time to Heal

Many bad relationships have been born of the bad relationships that came before. A rebound is generally short, intense and doomed to fail. Make peace with the death of your prior relationship and allow yourself proper time to grieve. Only when you have fully let go of your previous partner can you be truly open to finding a new love. This process can be accomplished in weeks for some, while it may take months or even years for others. Do not rush from one relationship to the next without properly dealing with your feelings.

#2 – Examine What Went Wrong in Your Previous Relationship

Every relationship, good or bad, teaches you something about yourself. Examining why your previous relationship failed can help prevent you from repeating the mistake. Evaluate what you loved about your former partner as well as the things that you could have done without. Identify characteristics that are important to you as well as those that are potential deal breakers. Knowing yourself will allow you to better convey your needs to future partners.

#3 – Change Your Dating Profile

While using the same profile you’ve used previously may seem to make sense, resist the temptation. The person who made that profile was successfully matched to a relationship that ultimately failed. Create a new profile from scratch. Incorporate new pictures and new interests. Starting over, both literally and symbolically, leaves you open to new options and greater adventures.

#4 – Don’t Settle

When you’ve been with someone for a long while, being alone seems incredibly dull. After a bad break-up, people often settle for anyone who will eliminate that lonely feeling. It is important to be sure you are interested in a potential match for who they are rather than for the company they can provide.

#5 – Take Things Slow

Jumping into a new relationship feet first may not be the best idea. Taking things slowly allows you to get to know your new partner in a controlled environment. Remember, you have a lifetime to love this person. Savor the feeling.

Learning to love again after a difficult break-up is possible with a little self-reflection, a bit of change and a lot of patience. Being sure you have made peace with your previous relationship can help ensure the success of a new online relationship.

 

 

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