Learning to Love Again: Dating After a Difficult Break-Up

breakupDating after a difficult break-up can be hard work. Emotional baggage has a way of weighing you down, and the prospect of dating again may seem like more than your battered heart can bear. If you’re considering reentering the online dating world after a bad split with a previous partner, these simple tips may help.

#1 – Allow Yourself Time to Heal

Many bad relationships have been born of the bad relationships that came before. A rebound is generally short, intense and doomed to fail. Make peace with the death of your prior relationship and allow yourself proper time to grieve. Only when you have fully let go of your previous partner can you be truly open to finding a new love. This process can be accomplished in weeks for some, while it may take months or even years for others. Do not rush from one relationship to the next without properly dealing with your feelings.

#2 – Examine What Went Wrong in Your Previous Relationship

Every relationship, good or bad, teaches you something about yourself. Examining why your previous relationship failed can help prevent you from repeating the mistake. Evaluate what you loved about your former partner as well as the things that you could have done without. Identify characteristics that are important to you as well as those that are potential deal breakers. Knowing yourself will allow you to better convey your needs to future partners.

#3 – Change Your Dating Profile

While using the same profile you’ve used previously may seem to make sense, resist the temptation. The person who made that profile was successfully matched to a relationship that ultimately failed. Create a new profile from scratch. Incorporate new pictures and new interests. Starting over, both literally and symbolically, leaves you open to new options and greater adventures.

#4 – Don’t Settle

When you’ve been with someone for a long while, being alone seems incredibly dull. After a bad break-up, people often settle for anyone who will eliminate that lonely feeling. It is important to be sure you are interested in a potential match for who they are rather than for the company they can provide.

#5 – Take Things Slow

Jumping into a new relationship feet first may not be the best idea. Taking things slowly allows you to get to know your new partner in a controlled environment. Remember, you have a lifetime to love this person. Savor the feeling.

Learning to love again after a difficult break-up is possible with a little self-reflection, a bit of change and a lot of patience. Being sure you have made peace with your previous relationship can help ensure the success of a new online relationship.



Online Dating: Does it Work?

According to a survey performed by a popular dating website in 2010, one in five relationships now begins online. That’s a pretty powerful statistic and one that has plenty of people asking questions. Does online dating really work? Can true, everlasting love really be found online? Is online dating worth the time and financial expenditure necessary to succeed?

The answers? Yes, yes and yes!

Online dating is not for the easily deterred. While plenty of people find their happily ever after on the computer screen, it may take many failed connections to find the one that matters. Finding your perfect match online requires patience, determination and a thick skin.

For those who can stick it out through the tough times, online dating is wildly successful. Several popular sites match users with potential suitors based on their answers to a series of questions. These sites have the best success rates. Knowing a person has the values and morals you want before ever seeing their profile is a comfort to many people. These sites do most of the work for you.

Other dating websites take a more hands-off approach. These sites allow users to search by picture, location, age or other defined criteria. Usually cheaper to join than their scientifically based cousins, it is possible to find love here as well, although you may have to weed through quite a few crazy people before you find a date.

Online dating websites play an important role in today’s busy world. They allow 24/7 access to a variety of different people who are all looking for some form of relationship. It is no longer necessary to spend hours each weekend at the bar in the hopes your soul mate will walk through the door and declare his everlasting affection. With a click of the mouse and some basic personal information, thousands of potential soul mates are at your disposal. With those kind of odds, how could it fail?

Online dating definitely works. A University of Bath study performed in 2009 shows that 94% of people who have one date after meeting online go on to have a second date, and the average relationship length resulting from online encounters was at least seven months. Customer testimonials posted on all major dating websites seem to indicate that many online relationships culminate in marriage.

The success of online dating is unquestionable. It may take some persistence and a lot of resolve, but those who go online looking for love have an amazing chance of finding it there.

What Men Want

Delving into the murky waters of online dating can be frightening for many women. Finding a suitable match is hard enough. Ensuring that you are appealing to that match is even tougher. Women need to understand what men want in order to make themselves more marketable. Although the question seems daunting, the answer is simple enough. In an attempt to dissuade myth and rumor we will now reveal what men are looking for in a woman.

Men want their women to be sure of themselves and have a mind of their own. Confidence in a woman is very attractive to a man. It shows him that she is capable of living without him. Men are naturally independent creatures who fear “being tied down”. Although they want a stable relationship as much as a woman does, they do not want to give up their own lives. Being with a confident woman reassures them that they are free to have a romantic relationship with someone who is not going to depend on them for all of their emotional needs.

Spontaneity and Adventure
A man wants a woman who is unpredictable. While dinner and a movie is fun once in awhile, men have trouble settling into a pattern. Catch his attention by doing something off-the-wall. Book a skydiving trip or hit the fresh powder on a pair of rented snowmobiles. Showing him that you’re open to a fast-paced lifestyle will have him considering settling down with you.

Physical Attraction
Let’s face it. As shallow as it may sound, men want a woman who pleases their senses. This is not to say that you need to be perfectly proportioned in order to catch his eye. Make a concentrated effort to do the best with what you have. Dress attractively and play up your best features. Remember: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Physical attributes that attract one man may not be appealing to another.

Men have a well-documented fear of commitment but are willing to make an exception for a woman who is confident, adventurous and attractive. Knowing what men want may make it easier to modify some of your characteristics in order to be more alluring to the opposite sex. However, it is important to remain true to yourself. Changing your entire personality for a man is not advisable. There is someone out there who will love you just the way you are.